Is marriage a Knot or a Treat!!

I was on a trip to Taiwan eventually one evening after office I called my parents casually to update what happened today at Taiwan. I heard dad saying can you send your latest pics and employment details till date. I asked what is it for? I qualified for next phase of my life called "MARRIAGE". I said I was not ready and I will not send. My dad from the other side convinced me that if we start looking now it takes atleast few months or a year to get everything settled. The month was on Oct last week when I decided to come back to India for Diwali. I convinced my parents that I will talk about this when I visit during Diwali. This is where everything started this post is for people who are about to start their new love relation called marriage

What are you looking for in a relation is it a girl/boy that you are dreaming about or a new relation? My life from childhood is kind of go lucky. I had serios crush with lots of girls in my class and also in some of my close relations. I never trusted on something called love marriages from my childhood. I don't know why but I thought Love marriage is only confined to movies where you are loosing all the bonds you developed for 20+ long years with your parents. I am not against being loved or love marriages but I never thought its one for me. The reason for this may be because I am not so good at getting atttention of girl and make her live for me forever. I was not expressive. Yeah, I got your point as I am also the one sitting beside you. You might be thinking why is he talking about him rather than straight away tell me whom should I search for. I am coming there. With the experience I had I only thought one solution for this let my parents take the call on this. I am seriously not that guy who can select a girl just like that in a moment looking at her.

The day when I got the notification for my marriage I was now anxious sometimes and worried sometimes but I know one thing for sure I am gonna get married to a beautiful woman on the earth because she is my wife. I tried to figure out what would I require from a girl. My list was pretty long and I thought will I get a girl who has all these qualities. Later I came to know within no time that I was dreaming for a girl whom I don't know and can't figure out in just one meeting whether the girl has all these qualities. Later I questioned myself do I deserve all these qualities. My list became a little shorter now. Now few more questions arised into my mind about "what if" I came to know that she may not true to stranger as I meeting her for the first time. Should I relook at the relation. My list came to 2 after revisiting this question. The list has only these questions.

• Is she beautiful Woman
• Is she comfortable with me.

These are the 2 questions I thought I could get the answers very easily. My question to everyone  who are confused in selecting is that again 2 

• Are you really ready?
• What are your preferences?

You may not get exactly the one you are looking but you are atleast clear what you wanted her/him to do after marriage. Let me help you in answering the 2 questions I just posted. 


Am I ready? : If you are aged 21 then you are obviously ready according to Indian law. Just kidding. The question is here is not exactly are you ready but the question here is what makes feel that I am ready for the marriage. For some its career, for some its family, for some its the way they are living and for many others its financial situation they are in. You are a better judge for it. I can give a simple pointer are you feeling that you should get married? Then yes go ahead get married listen to nobody except you. Seriously I was not ready for the marriage but when I saw my wife I don't want to miss her.


What are my preferences? : Seriously to hit a nail on the head this is toughest in selecting the better half. When I was going for preference my preference is just to marry a woman. That is all I have nothing else. I know I sound really weird but that is what I had in my mind but I had almost 12 days to think about before selecting my wife. In that 12 days I really did not think of any except the one and only reason I just told you. Man I was tensed on the last day but finally I went there I had lot of questions unanswered and unasked. I felt bad for not asking, I felt bad for not letting her know what my expectations were. I felt really weird and lost. I said I will take my decision only after talking to her on phone. This time I am ready with all the questions and was excited. After almost 3 days I called her. My questions sounded simple but those really important to me. My intention is not to read her mind but to know how she felt and how she would look at life. I almost saw that she is seeing the world with the same eye I was seeing. I felt good and later felt I should go ahead. I finally decided and went ahead and its been 4 years after my marriage but still remember every bit of it. 


So friends its very important that you should learn to live with the expectations  and go ahead in your relation.


My message to every one is that talk to yourself about these things then set a right expectation on your marriage then you will be most wonderful husband/wife in the world.

Love after Marriage.

I was listening to a CD by a very popular personality in which he says first few years of marriage there is a phase of life which is cool & calm and quite & simple and we love each others this is phase of marriage called "Chandra Mukhi" meaning Chandra -> Moon and Mukhi -> face (also taken as phase) then after that it becomes "Surya Mukhi" meaning Surya -> Sun and After that phase comes "Jvala Mukhi" Jvala -> Firing and Burning which is the last phase of the relation. This post is for people who are looking to get back from Jvala Mukhi to Chandra Mukhi or Surya Mukhi to Chandra Mukhi.

I used to think when I complained to my wife that she was not doing that she was not listening and lots and loads of them but I don't know a day would come when she comes back with the same complains to me as well. The day has come finally where she started questioning me. You know what we do is not intentional and we never thought that it would bother her. The reason is very simple you thought these are very petty things.

Join Hands to think again...!!

Think about this try to recollect when you fought with your wife last time. What did you fight upon? On national economy or on why government is collapsing or why there is lot of population. The answer is obvious "NO". By this what I understood is very simple a fight between husband is very simple and at times we remember that we fought but we forget the reason we fought. I am no exception and I fought about these things as well. I don't remember what was the reason but I know that I have not compromized last night I would continue. This stage is very important for the relation to grow stronger and detangle. What I would say if anyone is in this stage is to think was that something you could change rather than asking her to change if you think that its not in your control give her time to think as you have given a thought and take to very lighter note. Are you thinking Why should I take on a lighter note. I will try to talk about in my next paragraph. As per my understanding my life is very smooth after I understood that I want to change if I want to take care of my family. One thing I would recommend is that love your spouse more than anyone including your own children.

Why should and How should I show more love to my love? Lets not go out of context, we are discussing about building good relation right. So now you know your answer why you need to love your wife more than anyone else. Please understand here sharing more love here doesn't mean that you talk verbally it and which should mean you showing love. As I said in my previous post showing love to wife is different from showing love to kid. There is always difference between how you love and you show your love. I will better put an Example here say you came from busy office and you wanted to show love by spending some time with your spouse but your wife had a busy day and she wants to give you the child and take rest for sometime but you wanted to spend time with her so you don't allow her to take rest and rather trouble her do you think she thinks that you love her? If the I am asked the same question I have an answer called "NO". You are the better person to understand needs.

Can we give thought when we say she does not understand you, did you give an opportunity to your spouse or did you try to tell her what you need, if the answer is yes another simple and last question did you understand her properly? When these questions are answered you don't need any answers. These questions are simple but I have jumbled the questions. Understanding your spouse is the very important thing in your relations. When you say they know but they don't understand you. When they know it they know it but when they understand what you wanted to tell her she implements it. Now I know what your question is "How do I make them understand?". The Answer is pretty simple talk the way they want you to understand when they talks about something similar. This is very simple to tell to an author like me but its pretty difficult at first but very easy if ones you understand.

Did I ever give a think about what she is expecting me to do? The thought is basis to resolve your problem with her in all aspects. In a book that I read "7 habbits of most Effective People by Steven R Covey" he says there is something called emotional bank account for every person. In which you deposit and withdraw the emotions whenever its required. We need to deposit the emotions which we can withdraw later. This is true for all the relations including your co-workers. My point here is very simple do things to deposit and try to withdraw. People start withdrawing instead of actually depositing in the bank. So when the balance is nil and when you go on credit obviously bank give notice finally it becomes serious about your account and stops giving you more credit same is the case with you.

How do I deposit in the emotional bank account which money should I use to deposit? I think this is the next question everybody gets I have answered this in my previous reference example about a busy day in office. In that you need to understand your spouse situation instead of telling your situation. Try to deposit that emotion. When she thinks her bank account is full of deposit then when you recieving it back. So build that bank  account strong and full of deposit there is nothing like keeping for themselves they distribute this emotional deposits to you and many times if you still go on depositing then you can see that this is distributed to your surrondings like your children and your parents. You may have a doubt when I was born I opened my account with nil balance how does my father and mother love so much. Your birth has filled their emotional bank so much that they could sustain for very long time and one of your parent fills deposit unless you start depositing. They don't want you to go on debt.


Please post me back if you are not able to understand or relate anything in this post I am ready to help you. Thanks for reading Happy married life here after.

(disclamair:This holds good for the people of normal Indian families may be applicable for others but its just a post you consider it a pointer or another post which makes no difference)

My daughter/son is everything.

I became a proud father when a kid became my daughter. I took her first time in my hands and kissed her on the forehead. I don't know what she felt but surely I know that she realized this is person who is over joyed and very excited about her arrival to a new world. I could clearly remember she opened the eyes and she didn't cry but was laughing looking into my eyes. I looked at her cute little eyes and her red cheeks with little legs moving around my chest I took a closer look at the little round face. I smelt her being a rational animal taking care of my little cub. I saw her innocent looks and observing the new life she came into. This blog is dedicated to her because this is the result of 28years of love I developed and its time to show enough to my family and people who want to learn from me.



"Life starts in a very simple way and end the same way its upto us to complicate it." This is the favourite quote of me. Even my kid is no exception she started her life although her mother went through lot of pain at her arrival. In that way no one is an exception. We should understand at every point of life. Its upto us to teach that this should be conveyed the same way to the people who are looking at you as an example. I start this blog with this thought in mind which I want to convey to all the people the same. Take a better look at your life and realize these simple basics of life.



All kinds of love has its own way to express. Try to understand how you want to express your love. One thing to keep in mind is that when you want to give express love the other person should be able to understand. I think thats the essence you want to understand it, while you express the love. Example is when you want to express love to your spouse its different from when you want to express your love to your child. You need to understand that small difference when you want to understand the world of your kid. I always admire my child about her senses starting from the day she was born. This is my way to express I can't say that she will not understand its useless to express love towards her. Ones when my wife has to undergo operation my kid was just 3 months old. I don't know how she understood but she could understand her mother's pain. At the age of 3 months I did not understand why she is silent all the day till her mother is back. I admire about that all the time when she is very naughty it makes me feel she is very good child on the earth. So what I want to say here is that you get love in return when you show them.


Understand and admire your child for the little things. Children are really mirrors to show how much you loved them. Its upto to oneself how I want to stand before a mirror. I love my daughter so much because I want to be loved so much all the times. Children really don't know if they are doing good or bad they just want to learn and follow you.





...... Krishna C
(PS : This is just my thought deep from my heart may not right)